Flatulence
by ijuskeedin
Summary: The story set from Twilight, when Edward first sat beside Bella in Biology. Everything is going horribly, until Bella completely humiliates herself...
1. Biology

I walked into Biology, squeezing my textbook to my chest. I kept my eyes to the floor, avoiding any curious glances from the other students. I sat at a desk with an empty seat beside me. As I sat, I kept my eyes on my textbook, drawing little scrawls at the bottom of the page. I continued this until the bronze haired boy came by, and bent back, quivering, into his seat. His face was set in unbearable discomfort. He dragged his seat quietly away from me, grabbing the bottom of the table rather tightly, and sat at the very edge of his seat.

I pushed my hair over my shoulder, so I wouldn't have to let him see me hurt.

Suddenly, I let out a huge, flapping, smelly fart.

The teacher paused for a few seconds, only to clear his throat and continue with the lesson.

"Dude, she just farted." sniggered Mike

"Bella!" hissed Angela.

The smell of my gas wafted further around me, until people spat in helpless laughter.

Edward's back stiffened. His bottom eyelids rose in disgust, he looked at me for half a second and proceeded with plugging his nose with his thumb and index finger.

I could feel my face get hot, and covered my face with my hand.

People sitting in front of me scooted so far forward, that they had to push their table further to escape the rotten egg smell.

"Bella?" quipped Edward "Do you need Beano? Jesus Christ, take a few bottles!"

I squeezed my eyes shut for what seemed like an hour, until the bell saved my life.

--

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, DUDE HOW LOUD WAS THAT??" shouted Mike.

"My nose is burning! Ahahaha!" rasped Eric.

I wanted to die. I watched Edward flee into the busy hallway, only to lean against a nearby locker and cough in laughter. When I got to my locker, my hands were trembling, and I tightened my buttocks because I felt another one coming.

I was about to close my locker for Trig, until Tyler walked by and giggled uncontrollably.

I felt tears coming, my forehead throbbed.

---

School was done and I climbed into my worn out, red truck. I slammed the door beside me, and I screamed. To forget about the humiliation that invaded my mind.

How will Edward act around me tomorrow?

I don't even want to know.

By the time I pulled in the drive way of my house and yanked the keys out of the ignition, a lump slowly formed in my throat.

_Why does my first impression with_ _Edward have to be a disaster?_

I then began to sob, until I sat up with a jolt, as if an electric current shot up my spine.

"Billy and Jacob are coming to visit today! Oh, I probabaly look like a drag queen right now!" I cursed to myself.

I pulled my fingers through my hair several times and rubbed away any sign of tears from under my eyes.

I hopped out of my truck, stumbling in the process, and ran for my front door.

Hopefully I won't humiliate myself again.

_**A/N: Okay, so that was Bella's POV. Her life is so effed up!**_

**_Chapter 2 has Jacob and Billy in it..That's why i call it 'Jacob and Billy'_**


	2. Jacob and Billy

"Why, hello Bella!" grinned Billy.

I invited them inside from the stuffy fog outside.

Jacob pushed Billy's wheelchair in, shot me a smile, and sat at a nearby couch.

"Where's Charlie?" muttered Billy.

"Oh, he's still at the police station-" I stopped mid-sentence, horrified that I did it again. "He- He's um, s-s-still at the police station…"

Billy's mouth hung open, his bushy brows pulled together. He glanced at Jacob, who bit his lower lip until it turned white. One of Jacob's eyes was squeezed shut, as he turned his head in the other direction, avoiding the acidic smell.

"Uh…well…that's alright, um. I'll just come back when he gets-"paused Billy. Jacob gurgled silently in his angry giggles. Billy threw Jacob a shocked, angry glance. Jacob stopped abruptly, clearing his throat."I'll come back when he gets here." He finished.

Jacob stood up, grabbed the handlebars of Billy's wheelchair, and headed for the front door, avoiding my stare and said a quiet "Bye, Bella". I watched their truck zoom its way out of my street... _WHYYYYY?!?_

--

I trudged up the staircase, and dragged my feet all the way to my bedroom. I locked the door behind me, and let the remaining lump eat me alive with sobs.

The tears blurred my vision, and it felt cold as it slid down my burning cheeks. I fell helplessly onto my bed, letting the comforter soak up the tears. I coughed, and snorted and groaned, until it felt as if I'd run out of tears.

Who knows how the next day will turn out? I was choked up just by thinking about it.


	3. Orgasmic Edward

Paste your document here...

I arrived at school the next day, not knowing what to expect. Luckily, I brought some Beano, like the shiny Edward said, and I before I even thought of entering the school, I devoured about 4 pills.

I was walking down the hall, when Mike came up to me and hugged me. I shoved him off me, and gave him a 'wtf?' look.

"Mike! What's the matter with you! A girl needs fucking space!" I spat.

"Oh, um…I was hoping I'd squeeze another butt sneeze again. Hahahahaha!"

Right when he said that, Edward sulked right behind him and grasped Mike's shoulder.

"Dude, don't touch me. RAPE! RAPE!" he screamed jokingly.

"Why don't you jack off to a tree, you tool." Edward said rather darkly.

My stomach was twisting more gas out of its system. I bit my lip, tightened my butt, which Edward noticed, and ran off with out another word to the restroom.

"Stupid Beano!" I silently shrieked. "You freaking betrayed me! 'Silent Pleasure, my ass!" With that, I dunked the bottle into the toilet and watched the bottle swirl into its doom. I nudged the toilet door open, and saw a girl who looked as if she heard my whole frustration. Her eyes were darting about awkwardly, and gave an artificial smile as she walked past me to my stall. I pursed my lips in awkwardness.

The day went pretty fast, considering I was currently sitting next to Edward in Biology. I wondered why he helped me out back there. I forgot my own conscious existed when he suddenly looked me in the eyes. His eyes so soft looking, his eyes could melt the North Pole! _Drip._ Shit, I was drooling. To my astonishment, he actually leaned his smexy head down to the table and licked my saliva. I heard a grinding noise where his tongue made contact with the table.

"Dude…dude…Dude! What the hell are you doing?"

"Mmm, I'm lickin' this sexy table…" he responded.

My face was set straight, except for my bulging eyes. This dude is a nutcase. When he finished, he wiped any remaining saliva around his mouth with his tongue. He tried unsuccessfully to look seductive. I wrinkled my nose at his attempt to look fuggin' sexy.

"Do you like that?" he moaned, still trying to look sexy. "I thought that butt siren from yesterday was…rather irresistible."

I looked at him in disbelief. I screwed up again by making another, quieter fart. He rolled his eyes to the back of his head, wrinkled his brows and chin, and opened his mouth in what looked to me like he was in an orgasm. Students around me looked at him in horror.

"No, no, he's not orgasmic!" I hissed through my teeth at the witnesses.

I slapped Edward on the back of his head, hoping he'd stop hyperventilating.

It only turned him on more, he roared in pleasure. I received a wave of ice within me in shock and embarrassment.

"Oh, and I'm guessing the _**BEANO**_ didn't work?" he put loud emphasis on Beano.

"Dammit, what's the matter with you?!" I barked

It hadn't occurred to us that class had begun about 10 minutes ago, and the students, even the teacher, had been staring at us in awe.

I was staring at everyone in horror, when suddenly, Edward grabbed my chin and dragged it to his face, and he sucked on my face. My cheeks, grasped under his hold, looked scrunched up against my nose, my eyebrows lowered in anger, and my eyes wide in disbelief. It tasted like snow cone syrup. Yuck.

I heard whoops and awww-yeahhs throw about in the classroom. By now, Edward let go of my face, making the orgasm face again, while I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

The bell rang, and I heard sighs of disappointment that the event was over.

I aggressively got up, pulling my textbook, and stomped out of the room. Leaving the pleasured Edward behind.


End file.
